If I Had A Complete Series Of ‘Martin’ For Every Thai Child Trapped In That Cave, I’d Have 1,584 Episodes Of Martin

Click on “Read More” to view “If I Had A Complete Series Of ‘Martin’ For Every Thai Child Trapped In That Cave, I’d Have 1,584 Episodes Of Martin” on Robot Butt.

RE: My Missing Prosthetic Arm

Click here to view “RE: My Missing Prosthetic Arm” on Robot Butt (and more!)

The Summer Heat Is Here and It’s Time For Fewer School Shootings

Click here to read “The Summer Heat Is Here and It’s Time For Fewer School Shootings” on Robot Butt.

Stop What You’re Doing, I’ve Pissed Off A Wizard

Click here to read “Stop What You’re Doing, I’ve Pissed Off A Wizard” on Funny or Die.

‘Tis The Season! Our Fruitcake Is Back With Less Pig Dick

Click the here to read the “’Tis The Season! Our Fruitcake Is Back With Less Pig Dick” piece on Robot Butt.

Nicki Minaj’s Friedrich Nietzsche Diss Track Is Brilliant

Click here to read the “Nicki Minaj’s Friedrich Nietzsche Diss Track Is Brilliant” piece on Robot Butt

RE: ACME Rocket Powered Roller Skates Recall

Note: This piece is fake and it was written for a Second City class.

Rehashing My Childhood Almost Destroyed My Life

Note: This piece is fake and it was written for a Second City class.

At The Movies: Lamar and Darnell

It Follows is a legal RedBox review.

Almost Nude for Two-Hundred Dollars (A Reality Television Audition)

Originally posted on the Yahoo Contributor Network in 2014